Saturday, October 22, 2011

What Attracts Men

What Attracts Men is big question for some women? In some cases life of some women depends upon the solution of What Attracts Men. I believe it was cute to title this post as “What Attracts Men”. Now I’m not going to put some blanket statement that sounds like a cheesy horoscope that covers from “what do men want in a relationship” to “what men want in bed”. In this rant I’m going to basics, to fundamentals. I’m going to explore the very core of relationship advice – actually, the very relationship advice that is commonly given to guys on how to chase women. Forget gender, forget what men want, men and relationships, everything. I’m going to look at how you get a human being to like you.

Simply, how to be a good friend. As one anonymous fellow quoted – “Friend is a term for someone you like but is too ugly to have sex with”. Cruel, heartrendingly cruel. If this sentence answers the question of what do men find attractive, then it would suck. At the very least it would answer the question of why are men attracted to breasts.  Let’s be honest. The only difference between a friend and a boyfriend is the intimacy. I mean, why did the term friends with benefits surface? The consensual level between friend and boy/girl-friend. But I digress.

I’ve heard tons of stories proving this small, silly fact. Many women are tired of the fact that when they go out with their boyfriends, they feel as though their beaus are ultimately aiming for one thing and one thing only. It’s saddening that this simple fact hovers over your head every time you eat dinner or go watch a movie together. Hooking up is natural, but if it’s the only thing really keeping you two together, then your relationship may not last long. Sex is not what men find attractive. It’s common for married couples’ bedroom activity to die down, and then suddenly with the link gone, questions such as “How to attract husband” and “How to keep a man” come to mind. Don’t let that be you.

When was the last time you just hung out, and hung out just for the heck of it? Not at work, not during the breaks between classes, not with friends, and not even some private romantic getaway with the two of you. When was the last time you did things together because you just honestly enjoy each others’ company?

Think of your best friend. Why are they your best friend? You two probably spend a lot of time together. Both of you can talk and do just about anything and everything together without the fear of judgment, criticism, ridicule, or scorn. Wouldn’t it suck to have to tiptoe around your best friend, thinking that one accidental slip of the tongue, one mistake you did, would bring it all crashing down? It’ll be exhausting, having to be someone and something that you are just not.

Men especially do not want that. Women too. We all don’t like to pretend, to have on a facade 24/7 just for the sake of others. Is that how to impress a guy? To be someone you’re not? Definitely not. Do guys want to pretend just to be attractive to women? Of course not.

“Be yourself” – This piece of relationship advice is always tossed around. Easier said than done of course. Ironically, what is hard about being yourself? And funnily enough whenever I hear the question “How to attract a guy” pop up, the answers is always tantamount to “Be something you’re not”.

It’s amazing how quickly and easily you can forgive a friend but not a significant other. Everyone just wants to be happy, and mistakes are always made trying to achieve it.

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